Planning for Postpartum

Often as first time mummas we are so consumed by the week to week of pregnancy and have this curiosity and sometimes fear around the birth. Fear of the unknown, how is it going to feel, how do I get from a to b, gosh I feel heavy, what’s my baby going to look like, how am I going to be as a mother, what tools do I want to use in birth … etc etc… that we push to the side the importance of setting ourselves up for a nourishing and nurturing postpartum. Nourishing and nurturing for you, your baby and your family. 

You will be learning the ropes, learning baby’s cues, feeling immense highs of love and euphoria, and immense lows combined with a new routine, typically less sleep, healing and slowly reconnecting to parts of your body again, in a new dynamic with your partner, feeling a little more depleted in energy than you are used to, because you have this beautiful baby fully relying on you for every task we take for granted, eating, toilet, sleep, comfort…

Motherhood is a journey which strips you back to bare bones, and allows you space to be reborn yourself. You V2.0 This journey is called Matrescence, a term only just added to the dictionary, to describe the transition a woman goes through from maiden to mother. Just like we go through Adolescence, and we can remember how  clunky it felt as we learnt who we were, who we were attracted to, what we liked doing as an individual, and feeling a range of new emotions as hormones surged - and Franky we didn’t really know what to do with them! Motherhood, or Matrescence is a similar experience. 

Our first recommendation is to be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace. Allow balls to drop, because you have just entered into a new season of your life. The good news is seasons do change, so hold onto the edge of your seat, lean on into the lessons, give yourself grace by doing what you can, and be at peace with that. Speak to yourself as if you would speak to your best friend. BE KIND! 

Our second recommendation is ASK FOR SUPPORT. This is a tricky one, I hear you, I see you. I’ve been there. My ego didn’t quite understand why I needed help to raise my baby, until I was burnt out at 5 months postpartum and had a huge tantrum, some might call it a breakdown. 

See, here is the thing. Many moons ago, we used to live in villages, we lived in huts with our sisters, our cousins, our aunties, we had these beautiful crone / mother energies to tend to us in birth, to hold and nurture us in postpartum, to hold the baby if we needed a rest, or a hot meal alone, to go to the toilet without a baby on our lap. But with our current social constructs, and with the evolution of man, we’ve built white picket fences around our homes, segregated ourselves, and have got really good at setting boundaries. Let’s add the societal pressure to do this alone, with a smile on our faces, spunky cute clothes and immaculate homes. You’ve heard the term, ‘it takes a village’, and this is your reminder to allow them in. Keep those boundaries (I totally get it!!) and set up your meal train with Nourishin so they drop food at the door. Allow yourself to be cooked for - for weeks (not even exaggerating - ‘witching hour’ can make the task of putting together a meal - really difficult - on that - make sure you’ve got a good wrap or sling to wear baby, and invest in a slow cooker!  )  

Allow support in. Allow help. 

What does support look like for you to have the postpartum that allows you to heal, and bond with your family?

What foods will nourish you in postpartum?

Does it look like having a cleaner?

Does It look like organising a healer to come in and support you?

Does a postpartum doula sound nourishing for you?

Does a friend sitting on the edge of your bed listening to you debrief your birth sound nourishing for you? 

If you’ve been dipping your toe in the holistic birth and support spaces, you would have heard that we should ‘sit the month’. That means to rest, heal, and simply be. But in todays day and age - that can be really tough to do (do you remember lockdowns??) So can you drop the pressure of it being perfect, ask yourself who in your circles feels nourishing and has the capacity to hold space for you when you need it. Calling in your village to support you by folding clothes, cleaning the kitchen, or holding the baby while you take your first warm shower at 2pm.