Nurturing yourself in Postpartum, and why boundary setting is on that list! By Shani Dickins

 The first 40 days set you up for the next 40 years.

When we understand that it makes sense as to why it is so important to plan for our first 40 days postpartum, to be educated on what happens in the first 40 days and to set some boundaries to protect this sacred time.

It can also make it feel super overwhelming to think of another thing that needs so much care and consideration due to the lasting impact it will have on us. If you’re feeling like that, please know that it is so common.

Calling in external support can be so valuable for you during your pregnancy. Having a support person - e.g. postpartum doula - allows you to focus on yourself, while they share with you evidence based education, different approaches and rituals you may feel aligned with and how to set boundaries around this time. 

Aroha and Bree:

Postpartum depletion stems from various factors, including insufficient postpartum planning, lack of support, unmet expectations of motherhood, and neglect of our biological needs.

In today’s world, stress is constant, and many of us have forgotten how to truly relax or switch off due to the relentless demands of modern life. This chronic stress takes a toll on our overall health—impacting hormones, immune function, brain, and gut health. As a result, many women enter motherhood already depleted, juggling careers, demanding social lives, and accepting sleep deprivation as the norm.

The profound impact of sleep loss, particularly with a newborn, cannot be overstated. Some studies suggest that in the first year, mothers accumulate a sleep debt of around 700 hours. Coupled with reduced family and societal support, this adds to the challenge.

Additionally, the prevalence of processed, nutrient-poor foods in our diets contributes to the problem. As some say, “two mouthfuls of food for one mouthful of nutrition.”

We want to shift the belief that mothers need to be “everything.” This mindset often leads to mothers suffering in silence, without the information or support they need. In indigenous cultures, multi-generational support for mothers has always been a cornerstone, yet this vital tradition is sadly missing in much of today’s society. We aim to bring it back.

So what might be some things that you, as a postpartum doula, would encourage any Mum to implement into their first forty days postpartum?

Shani:

1. Extended rest time. 

It is known that resting for an extended period in early postpartum allows for optimal recovery. But why is it so important to rest? What really are the benefits of doing so?
 

• Allowing for the body to adjust to its new levels of hormones and to continue to let go of all the excess blood and tissue that was produced during pregnancy. Did you know that a woman’s blood volume increases up to 50 percent during pregnancy?
• Creating optimal opportunity for the uterus to return to pre-pregnancy size, in a warm and relaxing environment. Due to the uterus being extra-susceptible to the cold and wind now it is so important to stay warm and increase blood flow to the area. Exposure to the cold and slowing the speed of recovery can have consequences such as reproductive problems in the future.
• Having the space to be when our levels of hormones (estrogen and progesterone) drop dramatically which often triggers a tidal surge of emotions. With this our breasts are signalled to start producing milk - a time where rest is paramount.

2. Nourishing and Warm foods.
Warm foods go hand in hand with keeping the body warm. Not only can we do this physically, we can too through our foods which would include gentle spices and aromas that add to the temperature of warm food. Nourishing food supports our body to continue its recovery at an optimal level and to support our energy levels to ensure we are able to continue to feed and cuddle our babe.

3. Loving touch.
This one can sound a little crazy - who really wants to be touched after having a baby? However we want to be supporting the lymph system during this time to optimise circulation throughout the body. This might look like a traditional ceremony of closing the bones or a massage or foot
bath soak.

4. Presence with Wise Women.
It’s no surprise that many people have comments to make and advice to give during your early postpartum, which more often than not is reflecting their experience and their concerns onto you. What is important here is to allow that to become white noise and choose to bring in wise women that are in different stages of life that can offer you soul comfort and shared experience. The difference here is that wise women are not there to put their thoughts, experiences, fears onto you - they will listen and offer advice only when you ask.

5. Contact with nature.
While we want to remain out of the cold and wind, being in contact with nature is very healing and allows connection with our biology. Connecting with nature might look like sitting in a window with the sun shining through while feeding your babe.

6. Boundaries.
Setting boundaries for your postpartum can ensure everyone understands your expectations and that your space feels safe, relaxed and nourishing for you. One of the strongest ways to set boundaries is via message or email. This also allows you to reach everyone and provide the same messaging. A postpartum doula is a great resource for setting boundaries and helping
you in your messaging. Having the intention to meet these six areas will give your body and mind the space and time that it needs for optimal recovery and to start your mothering in a really positive way.
As mentioned earlier, calling in outside help can be a great way to support yourself through this time and to have strategies and boundaries in place to ensure you feel held, nourished and nurtured. 

To sum it all up... the first 40 days postpartum are crucial for laying the foundation for your long-term well-being. Planning ahead, setting boundaries, and surrounding yourself with support can make this sacred time a period of true healing and adjustment. While it may feel overwhelming to consider the lasting impact of this period, remember that it's common to feel this way. Calling in external support, like a postpartum doula, can provide valuable guidance, allowing you to focus on rest, nourishment, and connection. By prioritising these elements, you give yourself the best chance for optimal recovery and a positive start to motherhood.

Shani is one of our beautiful Birth and Postpartum doulas inside the Nurtured Beginnings Holistic Pregnancy course where she shares resources, tips and her wisdom for supporting a Nurtured Postpartum. Check out the course at our limited time price of $149.00 via the link Link to Holistic Pregnancy Course

How to contact Shani.
Shani Dickins is a Birth and Postpartum doula, Motherhood coach offering in person and virtual services.
IG Handle:  @shanidickins
Email: [email protected]